Today I was sitting at the kitchen sink cleaning up Sunday dinner feeling awesome, as usual. I bent over to put the dishes in and got a sudden rush of dizziness/fatigue. My stomach hurt, my head hurt. I looked out the window and wished I could feel normal. Why do I feel so terrible all the time? I thought maybe I ought to make an appointment to see the doctor again. I took another bite of a cinnamon roll and it was like the voice of reason grabbed a megaphone to let me know I was doing this to myself!
About 6-months after I had Knox I was so tired I couldn't function. I went to a family doctor who ran a blood panel on me. He called me two weeks later to tell me I'd had mono recently, but that I also had the positive component for Celiac Disease (CD). He said sometimes the only symptom he sees in adults with CD is fatigue. He referred me to a GI doc who did an endoscopy to confirm CD with a biopsy. I got a call that the biopsy was inconclusive, however I had lesions and sores throughout my intestines. He put me on some meds and told me that I did have CD but a lot of times the biopsies are inconclusive. Well for me, I wasn't going to adjust my life so drastically unless I knew for sure. Later that year I went to get a second opinion. The biopsy results showed that my lymphocites were being damaged, which is an early showing of CD. The doctor told me that since I wasn't having the "typical" symptoms of CD I was probably good to continue on my way until they showed up. Once they showed up I would know it was time to go GF (gluten free). Both doctors had differing opinions. I decided to take the one that made my life easier, duh, I continued to eat gluten.
After I had my second child, I felt worse then ever. I decided while I still had good insurance I might want to get checked out again. Stubborn right? Dave keeps reminding me I'm that annoying person that will continue asking over and over until someones gives me the answer I want to hear. For example, after my c-section I was told I couldn't take a bath for 6-weeks. Say what? It was January and I am a habitual bath-taker. I went to get my staples removed and asked the nurse what she thought. She said once the tape came off, I was good to get in. Perfect! The home nurse came and I told her the tape was about off. She told me I was crazy, no bath until 6-weeks. No lie, I probably called and talked to 3-4 different nurses to see if one of them would tell me it was okay. Just trying to find someone to tell me what I wanted to hear! So back to this story, I obviously wasn't going to do this unless I had a positive biopsy. Well, wish granted. In March of this year my biopsy came back positive. Here I am in July. Have I gone GF? Nope. Let me make a list of my current problems...
- Headaches
- Stomach pain
- Fatigue
- Unbelievable fatigue
- Random bouts of insomnia
- Muscle aches
- Thyroid/hormone issues
- Trouble losing weight
You think anyone in their right mind would do anything to make all that go away right? I don't know what is wrong with me! I try to go GF and then I cheat and it just becomes too hard. I do so good at home but as soon as some friends call to go out to dinner, I don't want to be that creepy friend that has special requests for where we have to eat. Or sits there at dinner with a side salad and a packed lunch. The social aspect is killing me. I don't want to be that high-maintenance person that nobody invites places anymore. Let's be honest, who wants a friend that can't eat fun things with them? I sure don't.
On the other hand, I don't want to be that mom who can't get on the floor and play with her kids. Who is always tired. The one who sits in the corner because she has a headache. The complainer who always is sick. I read somewhere that people with autoimmune disease are 3x more likely to get another autoimmune disease. However, if your autoimmune disease is CD, that number increases to 12x. That is kind of alarming don't ya think? There are so many things that are exacerbated by untreated CD.
So what's with the blog? Well, after I had finished the dishes, I do what I do best....I googled the answer. I read tons of suggestions to help with the transition to GF. I stumbled across one suggestion to start a blog about your journey. I've had friends who have done this with weight-loss goals and they've said it was remarkably helpful. So, I'm giving it a shot. I enjoy writing and journaling has always been very helpful and therapeutic for me. Maybe there is another gluten junkie out there that needs help too and we can commiserate together.
I must start with some ground rules. I have given myself a few cheat days.
- I have 2 free cheat days at my favorite Utah establishment, The Hungry Bear.
- I can enjoy Thanksgiving like a normal person.
- And Christmas too.
- For good measure, throw in Easter.
That is reasonable right? I'm hoping that by the time those holidays roll around it won't be so hard for me anymore. But 5 days out of a year I think is doable. It may not be as fun as watching someone shed the pounds, but I'm hoping as I progress I will shed the symptoms. Someone once told me that I have no idea how good I could feel. It's been so long I think I've forgotten what normal feels like. So, I'm on my journey for that feeling. I also want to share about good/bad recipes, challenges, changes, etc. For most people, this could be more boring than watching paint dry. Hopefully though, there are people that also struggle with making big changes in their lives and can offer me up a nice plate of suggestions and motivation.
Tomorrow it begins. 365 days. Well, make that 360 :)
